Best Funny Witty Quotes

During these unprecedented times when anxiety and stress are on the rise, a good laugh can be very helpful. Studies showed that laughter increases immune cells and decreases stress hormones. It triggers the release of the good chemicals in the body and promotes well being.

Witty and funny quotes are a great source of humor. They are remarks that demonstrate humor and is delivered in a very playful manner.

Read on as we have compiled a list of witty and funny quotes that can make you laugh, lighten up your mood, and teach you life’s lessons.

When someone says “You’ve changed”. It simply means you’ve stopped living your life their way.

A witty remark on how to explain maturity. In reality, most of us would try to fit into other people’s perceptions about who we are and who we used to be. If they see that there you are living life differently on how you should have bee, they would think that you have changed and mostly what they mean of change: is something that they don’t approve.

Life is too short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Life is indeed short. You’ll never know what the future holds. This quote is a reminder to enjoy life while we still have the strength and capacity to do so. Life is a gift and we only have one life to live. Enjoy life while we can, make memories, and have a happy heart.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why people appear bright until they speak.

Funny how we often judge other people with their appearances. But conversations are perfect to get to know another person. Most of the words that come out to that person’s mouth define who and what she is inside. The heart speaks through the eyes and the mouth. The mouth speaks the contents of the heart.

Facebook, the place where most people post their problems for everyone to see, except the person with whom they’re are having a problem with.

There is no doubt that Facebook has been a platform where people express their feelings and emotions. It has been a place where ideas and emotions are being voiced out. Why not? Open Facebook and it will ask you what’s on your mind. It’s just funny though that you see angry posts but they are hidden to the person they have problems with. So much for being brave.

I’m sorry. what language are you speaking? It sounds like bullshit.

When enough is enough then it is about time you just have to stop from listening. A witty yet very remark when you are conversing with someone who is talking senseless ideas. This remark is not referring literary to a language barrier but this referring to a senseless conversation when two people are no longer agreeing in a certain conversation.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

Revenge does not always mean that you have to cause other people’s physical pain. Sometimes the best revenge letting your enemies that you are happy and doing well. Smile. Forgive them. Nothing beats a kind and forgiving heart compared to their cold and hatred driven heart.

I am responsible for what I say. I am not responsible for what you understand.

The very important thing in speaking is that we have to be responsible by the words that come out in our mouths for it shows your intentions and gives other people an impression of what we are. We don’t have control over how people perceive the words that we say. How they understand, we have no control.

My alone time is sometimes for your safety

Sometimes when things aren’t going well it is better to get some fresh air and spend time alone. The me time will give you more time to think and keep yourself together instead of staying in that stressful moment and regret things that you may do. We can’t control the words we speak or things that we can do when we are in stressful moments.

There are three kinds of people in the world. People who make things happen. People who watch things happen and people who say “What happened?.

A witty quote on how people are in reality. Some people are driven to make things happen. They do their best, strive hard to get their goals realized. Then some just see things happen. They do nothing and wait until something happens. Finally, some are just curious about what happens. Not that they even care of.

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say…I just watch what they do.

Day by day, we encounter face different kinds of situations which makes us wiser and sharpens our judgment with what people say and do. We learn a lot from our interactions with our people. So before we believe in what other people say, better see what they do, that way you’ll know if they walk their talk.

You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!

Maturity doesn’t come with age and being child-like is different from being childish. You can be mature physically but remain immature based on how you decide and carry on life. Immaturity does not mean you are young with impulsive decisions. Sometimes immaturity comes with those who are supposed to make mature decisions yet they don’t act their ages.

There are two rules in life: Never give out all of the information.

In as much as honesty should be valued and be a part of our everyday lives, there is no harm in considering some exceptions. Be wise to decide especially in giving important information as they can be helpful or may lead you to your downfall. Know what to give and whom you should give it.

The fridge is a perfect example of what’s inside is what matters.

Reality is, our life is made up of so many things. Sometimes, some of us pretend to be someone who they are not. But the truth of the matter is, what you have so far is really what you are. Unless you get rid of some things and new things then it defines who you are at the moment. What you have, what’s inside you, is what you are.

I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent. Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.

Sometimes some arguments are being left unsolved. Especially when you are arguing with someone who has no access to an open mind. Better shake it off and let it go but that doesn’t mean that they won over the argument proving you wrong. It’s just not worth wasting your time though.

Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.

In this society, physical appearance matters on how people see us. It is an advantage that you look good. But looking good is just skin deep. You may look good but you don’t have a nice character. Thus ugliness is not also skin deep. Worst is go so deep it is hard to cover. It goes through the bone and pretense cannot cover it.

Common sense is not so common.

Common sense is not so common that is why we should often use it. A very witty remark especially for things that needs obvious judgment. It’s quite irritating when there are people who do not use common sense when talking or making decisions. Try using yours, it can be very helpful though.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Of course, we know that nobody is perfect. No not one. We all can be stupid at times but the point is we do not need to remain stupid. Stupid decisions and acts are not an excuse. It’s a near loss of sanity. Wake up, you are allowed to do stupidity but you are not stupid and are not allowed to live a stupid life.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Seriously, everyone has been so obsessed with physical features and how to delay old age. Even came up with the fountain of youth. But the truth of the matter is, has anyone been caring about wisdom? Fountain of smart? Anyone?

I not only use all the brains I have but all that I can borrow.

Woodrow Wilson

Sometimes, one brain is not enough to come up with brilliant ideas. Excellent ideas are resulting from brainstorming meaning different minds working together. Success can be made by a team and not just a single person. Brilliant ideas in the world are not just made by one person but by a team or group of person who shares a common goal.

Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why the earth is ruled by men and not by animals.

Amit Kalantri

A simple reminder that we were created above all else becomes we are given intellect. This gift should be used to create useful, good, and brilliant ideas that will help all of us prosper in our daily lives. This intellect should be used for smart decision makings and not irresponsible and illogical ones.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.


This is basic. Life is and has always been simple. How we live it, makes life either easy or complicated. Of course, every day we get entangled to decisions that matter in our lives. We are not perfect and we are prone to mistakes. Our way of life symbolizes the life we have. How we decide, how we do things, and how we deal with it makes up the life we are living.

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

In keeping and involving ourselves in an argument, it is but important that we equip ourselves with the fact that it will prove that we believe is true and convince the other person that your point is what matters. That is not just being smart, it is being wise and skilled to be able to hold up on the argument and it takes more than being smart.

My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.

Indira Gandhi

Unfortunately, at most times, credit is not given to those who deserve it. Some people will let other people come up with brilliant ideas, work for it to become a reality, and in the long run gets the credit that is due for those who worked hard for it. It is a sad truth but it is true to many circumstances like in successful businesses and organizations.

Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself call me…I’ll laugh at you.

Be happy. Stay joyous. Be positive. Old age will catch up with us, we cannot stay in this world forever, but we can make memories worth cherishing while we live. Life is too short so don’t waste it leaving in negativities. Allow yourself to be happy and surround it with people who will give you the same positivity. So if you think life is pulling you down, call a friend and have a good laugh.

The only reason that I am fat is that a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.

Plus-size? Well, be happy and tell your self that you also have a great personality. This mantra will make you very positive and of course happy. Just make sure to take care of your health physically, emotionally, and mentally. So if you are a plus size, flaunt it together with your wonderful personality. Show them what you got!

Witty and clever remarks are clever and intellectual. They are often delivered with sharp humor. These witty and funny quotes can teach us valuable lessons in life. They are not there for humor but most importantly as life’s lesson. So if you encounter some more funny witty quotes, laugh if you must but mist of all think of the lesson it is trying to convey.

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